| Wednesday, August 20, 2008 |
|
SIGHS. ;(i'm trying so hard to 'conquer' my assignment on "Changing English"...and i'm so dead...it's so difficult!i want to learn Old English but it's one thing to learn it as a leisure thing & another to be pressured by the assignments & examination & the wrestle with time management! ;../----------------Nu we sculon herigean heofonrices weard,
Meotodes meahte ond his modgeþance,
Weorc wuldorfæder, swa he wundra gehwæs,
Ece drihten, or onstealde.
He ærest sceop eorðan bearnum
heofon to hrofe, halig scyppend;
Þa middangeard moncynnes weard,
ece drihten, æfter teode
firum foldan, frea ælmihtig. -----------------The day i can read the above to you in a fluent way..... *daydreams*how on earth am i to complete this first assignment?ARGH.SOBS....& the sot students have finished their CM course but i've yet to... ;(INTERVENTION, please.
Starine remembered on 10:34 PM
So, I've spent an entire day since 9plus am (and without lunch) on "present" work. Again, backlog remains. (That eeksy word)
But in the midst of this busy but eventually fulfilling day, I've met angels.
Emy, sarah (happy hatchday gal!), peiyang, joel, sam came by just now just to say hi and thanks em for the honey red tea! ;) angels.
Chiefest angel today...my dearest gracie! I was so touched, grace! So soooo touched! :(
Starine remembered on 6:43 PM
mountains,mountains & higher mountains.can someone tell me how to ever clear "backlog"?they are so draining my joy away!;(before you can even venture into clearing the backlog, new stuffs to do come in...even if i had longer days & nights.... i think that may not help much.argh. ARGH. ARGH!!!starine hates overdue uni assignments & the word "backlog."
Starine remembered on 2:00 PM
(thanks dearie kel, for reminding me of that little girl i wanted to blog about!;)So, the little girl on God's huge, huge palm.During last week's morning prayer meetings...i saw a vision that i first saw as a young 16 year old girl (not too long ago, really), as a young Christian then. I've not forgotten about that beautiful vision (back then, i did not know it was called a 'vision'), but i have not brought that to rememberance for a long long time....So on Monday (the very first day of the prayer meeting), i was praying & worshipping (and it was a really good week of morning prayer!)...when i saw this familiar picture that brought me to tears, instantly.
(okay, this picture probably provokes you to laugh more than tear. I got Ds faithfully... for my Art lah.)
When i was a new born-again Christian at 16 years old (just last year), i had an encounter with God once. Let's start with my pre-Christian period... i remember i was in Sec 1 (at SCGS, my dear ALMA MATER)... & back then, this senior who stayed near me always took the same bus with me to SCGS. She was a Christian at Trinity, and she spoke to me (the staunch buddhist back then) about her "encounters" with her God. Everything she shared captivated me, but i shuddered at the thought of such "encounters". They almost freaked me out. Hahaha. But in retrospect, i believe seeds were sown into my unbelieving heart back then. And they have fully grown into trees now. So i was 'opened up' to a world of experiences with a One True God...So at 16, i was a newborn Christian & one time, i responded to an altar call & after falling down under the power of God, i laid on my back crying ... and i saw myself standing on this REALLY REALLY HUGE PALM. I couldn't see any face, all i saw was this really huge assuring palm & oh, "isn't that a really tiny me on that palm?" Yeah and so it was... Cynthia standing on a huge palm. "Whose palm?" (i thought about Honey I Shrunk the Kids....hahaha..) But the reply shocked me, yet it deeply touched me. And it got embedded within my spirit for, forever...---------"Hi MY child. I am DADDY GOD.
This is My Hand.
You are standing on My hand.
I just want you to know that you are in MY hand. And i can bring you wherever I please.
What i know is best for you."
----------
I teared. And that stayed with me forever.
Whenever i feel lost, i remember that I am still within God's hand.
I remember that I am where i am because He is bringing me places...
So last Monday, seeing that picture made me cry.
Because every now and then, i need to be reminded....
HE IS DADDY GOD.
I AM STANDING ON HIS BIG BIG HAND. :")
and, i'm forever, 16. :)
Starine remembered on 2:47 PM
the sweeties in my life!;)a sweet lil cuppa choco with a message on it! again, i'm surprised! ;D little thoughts that make big differences!
Starine remembered on 1:01 PM
Nostalgia.This nostalgic feeling.So, it's back to the oldies...Every now and then, i travel back through time and space just to relive those moments.And then i smile again.thanks, emy, for being my wonderful p.a. ;)
Starine remembered on 10:41 AM
unmotivated.
:(
Starine remembered on 10:09 AM
thank God for these sweet dear men, my bro & my companion, kel! they think the same way, don't they? :)
Starine remembered on 10:47 PM
i was about to shut down my labtop when the little corner of my really clean desktop caught my attention...
"hi sis, thanks for letting me use your pc."
you know what? I felt so appreciated! :)
i guess it's because that little surprise note came from my brother, of all people.
ever since my dear bro stopped coming to church (reasons of his, i know, and i understand)... i've been attempting to be the best sister i can to him... i refused to 'nag' or preach in any way... things that i wouldn't have done in the past, i would now... including: NOT BLASTING HIM OFF for taking my labtop in the middle of the night without my permission...
many mornings, i woke up finding my labtop in my bro's room. And i really dislike anyone using my labtop without asking me because it's primarily personal stuffs & work stuffs...
but i resisted scolding him. I did say, "boy, can you please ask me before taking", which he did thereafter...
anyways, something about this little note touched my heart.
1) the thought behind the note. He did not have to say thank you, really.
2) the feeling of someone calling me "sis" just somehow, suddenly, fills me with such warmth. Of all the billions in this world, God gave me this brother and this sister... and this mum, this dad, these friends, this boyfriend. :)
and i begin to wonder what my bro is really going through. God bless my wonderful bro.
anyways whatever people may think of him, i think i know him more than any one who judges him.
and i kinda miss the bro i used to see... the bro whose voice would resound each night, guitar in hand, harmonica brilliantly fixed to the guitar... he sang love songs to the God he loved.
i believe i will see this brother again, soon. :)
Starine remembered on 10:32 PM
if only i had wings...
i would be that pretty, majestic bird...
flying high across the azure sky,
on this really cool rainy night,
i would spread them out & fly high,
high above everything,
far away from here...
-----------
God, give me wings.
Or, anything close to that.
:)
Starine remembered on 9:52 PM
wooohoo!i'm so looking forward. It feels just like 2006, 2007... the pre-visit period that got me all jittery...i pray it happens this time once again! then, my dream of going there yearly would come to pass!so be it,gracie, sabby, kel... if all works well... let's meet at my Alley! ;D
Starine remembered on 7:17 PM
if i can actually decide on what i want to do now, without having to consider any other aspect of what makes up my life now...if i can do anything i wish now, without having to consider other responsibilities i have...only if...i would,read a novel all day, be it on my sofa at home or alone in my bedroom, or in some alfresco style cafe with strong breeze caressing my face.ignore all phonecalls and smses, turn my blackberry off totally. Refuse to go on internet or check my emails.fly away on a jetplane, to London, or Venice, or to the US. Or i wouldn't mind Downunder where life goes slow. Or dear ROME, to see my Colosseum.
go back to my Secret Alley.and the list goes on. guess im just daydreaming for now.... haha.that, is what i call a 'fake' life. It cannot be a constant state of life.I can do with such carefree lifestyles, but they can only be the 'punctuation marks' and 'conjunctions' of my life's 'essay'. They cannot possibly make up my full essay.My story has got an increasing number of words added to it now. But i'm feeling like it is an essay of so many words with no punctuation marks in it.And i am so gonna add in the punctuation marks now.And, i am gonna look out for the conjunctions,then, i will know why this essay is written the way it is. ;)destiny.
Starine remembered on 2:45 PM
| Saturday, August 16, 2008 |
|
Ah, and now I'm not able to fall asleep, how weird!
But I'm pondering about this truth that is being quickened to me this year:
Living more in my "death";
Dying more to my "life".
Nothing morbid, its a spiritual truth about one's life not really one's own... But God's. ;)
This week, I got reminded about my Secret Alley and once again, it touched the innermost corners of my being. It all began on Tuesday...
And the "divine" chat with my ex SOT dean really "confirmed" that which was stirred in my heart..
Starine remembered on 1:24 AM
Since Sunday morning, I've been waking up by 515am and ending the day at almost 2am...
After a long, busy but wonderful week, I'm finally gonna sleep now at 1plus am (after yet another long day) but hoorah, 9 hours of sleep till 10am! This, is luxury to me!
So good night whole wide world! ;D
Will tell you about my touch from God daily in this past long week :)
To bed, to bed! Hooray! :)
Starine remembered on 1:15 AM
make a firm decision .... stop standing in the middle of the road. i mean, for what???just make a decision & stick with it.AND SORRY, but i must honestly tell you that i'm getting very sick by that.make a decision! stop torturing yourself.
Starine remembered on 11:46 AM
bitter people will get nowhere. Stop being bitter about life.even if there are truckloads of "crap" to be unhappy about...stop talking like all this "crap" was thrown upon you unfairly... by people who care most about you.--------if you feel like i'm writing about you, it's probably you then.--------by the way, this was exactly what my good friend had to tell me before i woke up to my horrible inward state some time (not too long) ago.----------
Starine remembered on 11:57 AM
2 Cor. 11:3
"But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from
the simplicity that is in Christ."
Starine remembered on 11:43 AM
slept for only 3 hours - 4 hours last night, cause i couldn't sleep! Been a fruitful night. :)and had a pretty good morning!helped a girl on wheelchair up a cab, and then i hopped onto a comfy maxi cab to work.in the comfy cab, i thought of how this girl could travel around on her own, get on the cab by herself...manage a smile & thank you still. i may be all grouchy & depressed if i were her? i thanked God that i have two good legs still. God bless that sweet girl.in the cab, the nice uncle blasted his radio.. 93.3FM, ah, that nostalgic radio station i used to tune in to during my not-so glorious ah-lian days.i thought the deejays were really good. i don't know their names but they are good hosts!and faye wong's voice echoed in the cab.i must say i really like her voice.she has a unique voice that no one can 'mimic'...i like it.:)it's Friday, and we are having cgm tonight, and i've been expectant & looking forward to cgm. Can't wait to worship God with the members... & then we'll fellowship & i look forward to this simplicity before a week of work ahead.:) happy,living life & loving it!
Starine remembered on 11:35 AM
| Thursday, August 07, 2008 |
|
i can't believe it...since 9plus a.m., i've been at my desk, and except a few visits to the 'special cubicle', i've been rooted to my chair till now...it's already 5.40 p.m.!it has been work & more work...i'm hungry now! Waiting till 6 p.m. before i can feast on something!about to go to school soon...another three straight hours of intense activity going on inside my head...guess i'm really gonna 'crash' tonight in bed.next week's gonna be a really long week, rooted at JW!morning prayer, sot (boss is gonna be there) & then with the many meetings, looks like it's gonna be a long but fruitful week! this year, i've been learning (more & more), what it really means to 'lose my life to find real life'.and what it means to serve.gotta develop a bigger servant's heart. And be reminded that my labour is never in vain.everything i'm doing matters in eternity! ;Dafter all, life gotta revolve around what matters."GOD: let it be a very fruitful week ahead!"------living life & loving it! ;)
Starine remembered on 5:40 PM
我生命里的每一分钟, 都有你看顾着我.
----------------------
and i have never forgotten about my Secret Alley.
i've been missing it so much.
because there,
i find myself.
a huge piece of who i really am,
the reason i am here.
i will tread my way back to my Alley.
:")
Starine remembered on 10:05 AM
| Wednesday, August 06, 2008 |
|
Usually when i reach home, i would see Troy our husky in his sitting position, eagerly waiting for our arrival. When the door opens, there he would be, right before our eyes.
Yesterday, when i got home, i was surprised to see no Troy. But supposing he was in the kitchen-balcony, i headed straight to my room (okay, i don't usually bother if Troy is in the kitchen sleeping or eating....). I wanted to see if my bro was home, and to my surprise, i saw my bro's brother...........
Sitting on my bro's bed like some King of Narnia! I almost died of shock!
Troy is a very timid dog (although he intimidates everyone with his not too friendly look)...& to find him so 'dignifiedly' sitting on my bro's bed was a huge surprise to me!
I called my bro to check if he actually brought Troy into his room before he left the house (cause Troy is so timid, he usually stays in the kitchen)... to my surprise, boy did not. So troy his brother actually had the bravado to travel that distance to my bro's room & to sleep on his bed!
Well done, Troy!
I closed my room's door before leaving the house to ensure that i find no Troy on my bed tonight. :/
Starine remembered on 10:39 AM
"Now you’ve got to understand that you’re in a church
that has destiny on it...
God is looking to you to fulfill certain things."
-----------------------------------------
- Ps Phil Pringle (sermon in 2004)-
Starine remembered on 11:52 AM
i was about to read my Bible last night when my sleeping beauty lying next to me started talking. The catch is this: she was asleep already at that hour (near 2am)."not another sleeptalking episode." i thought.karuna: "3M... M mister..." (and continues in gibberish)me: "3M??? M mister??!"kar: "Yah." (continues to talk, a language i do not comprehend. Whether she is in the body or out of body, that we all know...)me: "ah, i see. Can M mister be eaten?" (i bantered with her, only that i'm bantering with a sleeping sister of mine, instead of the usual talkative, awake, wide-eyed girl)kar: "Yes."me: (laughing now) "hahaha. Good good. M monster can be eaten. So how does he taste like?"kar: (falling back to her deep sleep as she murmured on) "ztyingelelhegaj..." (---SLEEPS---)me: (patting her head, this girl whom i've watched grow up since she was but a few days old...this girl whose sleeptalking episodes i've watched a couple of times) "GOD BLESS YOU! Good night!"------------------tell me about it, my siblings can be pretty freaky and weird. Hahaha. But they spice up your life!i'm waiting for cedric's next episode. As i've said before in previous entries, his is of a 'higher level' cause he sleepwalks... even more freaky right?Hahahaha.no worries, i've had no complaint lodged against me thus far. Don't worry about me!
Starine remembered on 10:37 AM
i must say that i really enjoyed ps mark conner's messages shared during FOP.and his message on Living in the light of Eternity really confirms the things which God has been laying upon my heart.i've been feeling like certain verses in the Bible are on the threshold of becoming "flesh" to me. This year, the word that has been recurring in my heart & been actualized slowly but surely in my life revolves around the idea that my life is not my own...Anyways: the question that i must resolve within my heart is...What am i doing with my life? Does it have any worth in the light of eternity?
Starine remembered on 9:59 PM
Am studying & doing work with the bros now (peiyang, jo, zhi & tom), at NP, while Kel's having his lesson.And peiyang brought us to this really nice spot, so now i'm beginning to have a changed impression about this otherwise-ghastly-looking-hospital-like-NP building. ;) i told peiyang i did not want the air-conditioned place but a breezy place and oh, it's so breezy now... and there's this pond encompassing this place...nice! ;D
Starine remembered on 8:10 PM
You know, these days, its hard to find sweet-spirited people. But i've been feeling that this particular member is really sweet in spirit!The way this member is pliable & teachable, childlike in hunger...really moves me!Let's just say that this member is like a sponge! It makes me wanna invest alot more into this life.And it makes me think about being childlike in faith again.Alright, just a random thought, but reading a surprise spiritual report really blesses my soul! Busy this dear one is, but bothers to 'learn' and apply. That's what makes us wanna give all the more. ;)Anyways, i'm happy. ;)And i'm grateful for a great bunch of helpers.
Starine remembered on 5:29 PM
"There are two great moments in a person's life:
the moment you were born
and the moment you realize why you were born."
Starine remembered on 11:25 AM
Our greatest claim to nobility is our created capacity to know God, to be in personal relationship with him, to love him and to worship him. Indeed, we are most truly human when we are on our knees before our Creator.
(John Stott in The Contemporary Christian. Christianity Today, Vol. 38, no. 6.)
Starine remembered on 11:16 AM
Oh, i watched Money No Enough.Seriously, when kel wanted to watch it, i really complained.1) Chinese show. Local movie. (guess i still have some sort of anti-local movie sentiment)2) May be totally lame...But we still got the tickets & since it's Jack Neo's movie, i thought i should show my support! Oh, it's a very good show! There's the common grace factor in it. It's that kinda show that will cause you to reflect & come out of the theatre feeling renewed & different. It's very good! Kudos to Jack Neo! I enjoyed it. And i cried watching it! Really touching. And it's not a stereo-typed kinda show. It's very 'real', reflecting real issues in our time. Topics on filial piety, marriage touched on. And it places you in the characters' position: you would question your ownself & ponder over what decision you would have made.I think the ones who have negative comments to make about this local production are basically people who are just critical by nature lah. People who think themselves to angmoh-ish to appreciate such shows.Oh, but you gotta understand hokkien to some extent! Oh, but it's really a funny show! I laughed till my sides hurt at some parts of the show!:D
Starine remembered on 12:37 PM
i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo colddddddddddddddddddddddddd.......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..................... & i need more sleeeeeeeeezzzzzp!Sorry for this totally non-inspirational entry!But i really need to rest & sleep! Give me a jet plane.
Starine remembered on 12:03 PM
i thought this was pretty & sweeeeeeeeeet! So captured this little msn window... conversation with a woman of God in the making! ;D
Starine remembered on 11:41 AM
What should I say? : )Have just completed my work. But there are still deadlines to meet. Work never ends. I feel like I am really crossing over my Red Sea.And I feel such a sense of renewal taking place from within.Starine endeavours to...1) Be simple again. I was on the bus to YMCA & was telling God to restore to me the joy of my salvation. That simple joy of salvation... simplicity of heart, purity & singleness of heart.2) Guard my heart with all diligence. And let it be free to trust in my wonderful Daddy God. In believing, I find joy & peace. 3) Out of my heart will i serve & out of my heart will spring forth good things.--------------anyways, i'm now in my wonderful boyfriend's team, co-leading our groups together.but thanks so much, bee, for being an inspiration. Your forever passionate spirit rubs onto me & amazes me. :)-------------GROWTH as of this weekend!
Starine remembered on 1:45 AM
Joy & Peace are found in believing.
-----------------------
i remember what my cousin & ex-cgl ever said to me before...
"cyn/dardarkueh: you are a girl who really puts your trust in God."
And i wonder, why has this wavered so much...
I am 'relearning'...
--------------------
To trust in God again with all my heart. :)
Starine remembered on 4:17 PM
Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my love, my life, my all
Starine remembered on 1:21 PM
So often, and for so long, i've looked to "the station."
That place i am to alight at.
And while so consumed with reaching "the station," i missed out on the pretty sceneries...
And now, i have decided again,
I'm going to ENJOY THE TRIP instead!
I don't think i will ever reach any destination that will make me happy,
because LIFE IS A JOURNEY, and i will simply ENJOY IT!
-----------------
a holiday would be great still; but every day is meant to be enjoyed!
I will celebrate life from now on!
And yep, RELISH THE MOMENTS!
;D
Cheers to a joyful life!
Starine remembered on 10:05 AM
here's a continued list of thanks....Thanks, helpers of w279 & w363.... for the treat to billy bombers last night. You guys really cheer my life! I appreciate it, Emy, joel, lokies, ayron, peiyang & sarah teo (guest appearance!)And above, a pretty and touching card from emily that touched me to tears as i recounted on God's faithfulness.Thanks lil sweetie, thanks for the bebe shirt & this touching card...& for everything!I love you guys!
my pretty album from my pretty members! :)
Starine remembered on 10:02 AM
Continued ....thanks alot ex cg for the cg card & gift (very timely message in a book)!thanks alot dear ying & sarah for popping by church office!thanks ying for the beautiful journal (your tradition to give me journal every year now yeah!)....for the beautiful mango top...for the touching card...for the SKIN voucher...all in a pretty box...you have been such a pride of mine! I love ya!I love ya gals! ;)
Starine remembered on 10:30 AM
thanks so much, dear all! :)in chronological order...1) Thanks alot my dear 3 galpals cum colleagues cum friends... for the beatiful golden wallet which i'm already using now. Thanks for the pretty bag from taka too! ;) thanks for your friendship most of all! :") You three played such important roles in my life!2) Thanks dear w279 for the jacket & the beautiful album, thanks too, w363 for the song item! You are my angels! thanks for the special few who put in so much hardwork into the album! I am touched!3) Thanks drey for the lunch treat ... oh so yummy jap food! :)4) 12 midnight surprise: Thank you my dearest companion for appearing just before 12 midnight (although you disrupted my first 25th bday prayer to God! Haha..but it meant alot to be surprised still, by you!). Thanks so much for the pretty candle layout. Thanks for the beautiful Solvil Titus watch & the two bottles of perfume (esp that particular one i love!)... I love ya!4) Thanks alot my respected friend for the ed hardy top! It touches me always to know you always remember my bday! 5) Thanks my childhood friend for the bday treat & for the top from mango! Your friendship has been a blessing..[Got interrupted. Wend called and said, "cyn can you pass me the exec toilet key?" I went only to be ambushed by the three gals... with a bday cake in the toilet...hahah... thanks so much friends!]6) Thanks so much Editorial & Graphics... for the pretty Guess bag & cake! Thanks for being such fun and wonderful people to work with! Stay pretty & handsome!7) Thanks dear VAL for sending flowers to the office although you are on maternity leave! You are a wonderful bossss!8) Thanks dearie cousy vania for sending a whole cake from awfully chocolate... the rum cake is awfully good... and having you as a cousin is my blessing and joy!basically, thanks for all your well wishes & thoughts! I really appreciate it!!Im rushing now so if i missed out on you, i will definitely come back to write and thank you!
Starine remembered on 5:40 PM
thanks so much, dear all! :)in chronological order...1) Thanks alot my dear 3 galpals cum colleagues cum friends... for the beatiful golden wallet which i'm already using now. Thanks for the pretty bag from taka too! ;) thanks for your friendship most of all! :") You three played such important roles in my life!2) Thanks dear w279 for the jacket & the beautiful album, thanks too, w363 for the song item! You are my angels! thanks for the special few who put in so much hardwork into the album! I am touched!3) Thanks drey for the lunch treat ... oh so yummy jap food! :)4) 12 midnight surprise: Thank you my dearest companion for appearing just before 12 midnight (although you disrupted my first 25th bday prayer to God! Haha..but it meant alot to be surprised still, by you!). Thanks so much for the pretty candle layout. Thanks for the beautiful Solvil Titus watch & the two bottles of perfume (esp that particular one i love!)... I love ya!4) Thanks alot my respected friend for the ed hardy top! It touches me always to know you always remember my bday! 5) Thanks my childhood friend for the bday treat & for the top from mango! Your friendship has been a blessing..[Got interrupted. Wend called and said, "cyn can you pass me the exec toilet key?" I went only to be ambushed by the three gals... with a bday cake in the toilet...hahah... thanks so much friends!]6) Thanks so much Editorial & Graphics... for the pretty Guess bag & cake! Thanks for being such fun and wonderful people to work with! Stay pretty & handsome!7) Thanks dear VAL for sending flowers to the office although you are on maternity leave! You are a wonderful bossss!8) Thanks dearie cousy vania for sending a whole cake from awfully chocolate... the rum cake is awfully good... and having you as a cousin is my blessing and joy!basically, thanks for all your well wishes & thoughts! I really appreciate it!!
Starine remembered on 5:40 PM
my sis & i............ :) my joy and my pride~!
Starine remembered on 9:33 PM
Starine's Desire, at the threshold of this new year:
----------------------------------
"Beauty for ashes"
--------------------------------------------
Starine remembered on 7:44 PM
Thanks, thanks list............First up, really wanna thank my awesome friend wend for speaking the truth in love. She's one 'confrontational' sort of person, but in a very good way! Hahaha. What i am thankful to God for is that wend is a friend who dares to speak the truth to me. No mincing of words, but the sorta truth that would set me free. And i am thankful to her for being around for me! :) left me with decisions made & steps to take... :)Second, i am just thankful that kel is back! It's sunny-side-up with him around! ;Dmy best pal on earth.Third, i am thankful to my precious cg & extended cg....for their really sweet surprise! The super huge & beauteous album of memories for me (you will envy me!)...the really nice white jacket (i have a soft spot for nice jackets!)...& the really touching (minus the guys' spoiler parts...hahaha) song item....Sarah Mclahran's Angel... (ooooh, lokies' beautiful voice).... Thanks a million guys! You guys are the best!Thank You Daddy for everything! :)
Starine remembered on 2:06 AM
Every now & then, angels visit my habitation at workplace when i'm not around.
Evidence of their footprints?
Photos & cards of other beautiful angels that appear all around my cubicle area!
I smiled. :)
I'm feeling happier..
And thanks, my dearest evANGEL!
I love ya to bits & pieces & smithereens of all my love! :D
Starine remembered on 10:08 AM
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace...
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Also He has put eternity in their hearts,
except that no one can find out
the work that God does from beginning to end.
-Eccl. 3-
-----------------------------------------------------
my comfort in this period, above.
and i realised something...rather, while so many voices are telling me this & that, i felt God encouraged me & said,
"HEY child. Take all the time you need. Don't rush through it..
recovery process always takes time..."
but sometimes, it seems like we wanna rush through the process and then realise at the end of it, we have missed the whole process and it's back to zero.
Let there be a time to mourn, and a time to heal.
if you are going through something, it's just for a time. Go through it. Cry all you need. Just don't get into a pity party. And then hey, let's have a date & laugh together again...
because your healing has begun.
Take all the time you need!
Starine remembered on 7:54 PM
Have you ever stopped and suddenly wonder what's really happening in your life? Who you have really become?Welcome to my world.I can only describe this period as a "so high yet so low" period. But it's good. If we never go through things in life, we will never have opportunities to grow stronger. In tough times, either we make it or break it. And yes, i have had enough. I have chosen to make it through.My Potter is still making His beautiful clay. In this period, i felt a surge of encouragement as my Potter whispered to His clay:"You are still in My hands. If you will let this period make you, you will become stronger. Remember that I am doing a work in your life. It's not about your comfort but your character. If you will make it through this, this will become a great testimony for your life."And now you're wondering, oh dear, what is cynthia really going through? Ah, that's my trademark: speaking in parables. I am only writing as an avenue to let you know that you are a human and whatever you may go through in your own life, we all do, vice-versa. But let's keep personal stuffs personal yeah.:)Thoughts of giving up. Thoughts about letting go. Crazy thoughts.... ah, they come and go. But it's uphill again. :)
ABBA GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL & WONDERFUL.
Starine remembered on 7:40 PM
my agogo sister is by my side now...she's staying over:)i love my agogo sister.:)
Starine remembered on 9:38 PM
It's funny how mails that usually don't appear in your mailbox, appear at the right time... to speak right to your very heart. Here's one, for me. :)---------------Run to Daddy Some forms of worship only release their sweetest fragrance to God when offered from the fires of trial and adversity.Acts 16:25-34, where Paul and Silas, beaten and locked up in the Philippian jail, offer prayer and praise to God. He delivers them with an earthquake, and the jailer and his household become believers.
It is taught by some in the modern church that believers can expect an easy road in life if they will only have faith. It is good—even absolutely necessary—for true believers to believe and have faith in God. But the Christ of the Bible has never said “Life should be a breeze!”
Christians— good Christians —sometimes go bankrupt. Christians get cancer. Christians lose their jobs. Trials and adversity are real, even for believers—perhaps especially for believers. They touch every one of us and they hurt (and they usually have nothing to do with our faith level).
So how do you handle adversity in your life? Do you gripe and complain, saying, “Oh, woe is me!” Do you challenge or question God? “Why are You letting this happen to me?” Or have you learned to view trials as an opportunity to grow and to draw closer to your heavenly Father?
Children who get a cut or a scrape run to Mommy or Daddy for comfort—somehow their comforting and reassuring kisses make life better. The pain offers yet another opportunity to exchange love and deepen the bonds of unconditional love between children and parents.
In the same way, trials and hard times should propel us into our Father's arms. Rather than run from Him, we must run to Him and find comfort, strength and direction in His presence. Our faith is in Him, in His abiding love, and in His Word; not in the false expectation that all trouble and adversity will leave our lives.
Jesus said, “A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you…” He also gave us this great promise: “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” You are on assignment in enemy territory, and trials and adversity are part of living in a fallen world. As God walks through the hard times with you, the problems serve as purifying fires burning away your impurities and strengthening you for service— if you embrace the process of growth. Your trials tend to either make you or break you—it all depends on your response.
Paul and Silas were thrown into the Philippian prison, with their feet in stocks and their backs bruised and bleeding from wrongful beatings. They could have moaned and groaned, but at the midnight hour they were too busy “praying and singing hymns to God”! They transformed their pain into praise and their stripes into songs of joy. The jubilant worship birthed in the midst of fierce tribulation became a sweet fragrance in the nostrils of God. The presence of the Father arrived with such force that it shook the earth and brought deliverance to His worshipers. The sweet fragrance of their worship even affected the lives of the jailer and his family and changed their lives forever.
Athletes know that in order to grow stronger their muscles must be stressed and stretched in exercise so even stronger tissue will generate. This principle of “no pain, no gain” even applies to the Christian life. We cannot grow without pain and resistance.
God uses the trials and hardships of life to draw us closer to Him and to develop greater maturity in us so we can go on to greater things. Willing worship in times of tribulation becomes the sweet fragrance that brings God near.
It's easy to praise God when things go well. Have you learned to worship Him in hard times as well? Your trials and adversity are fresh opportunities to praise and worship God—and to experience new growth. When life hurts, don't run away— run to Daddy!
Starine remembered on 4:22 PM
An Important Lesson In This Transitional PeriodI must say, the past week had been the most trying week for me so far this year.Stress, pressures, emotional pits...It's not so bad, but a mix of pressure from all sides...And I am thankful that I'm beginning to see the light again.Life is where you find it and what you make of it. -Ed ColeWhat i've learned throughout this past week is...The importance of accountability.I've screamed alot, cried alot. (it's okay to be transparent...if you guys think i'm always UP and about...hahaha...time for some shattering of mindsets and perspectives..:)But something i did alot was....sharing. With the right people that is.Special thanks to:Kel (away in taiwan but ever around for me in the busiest moments of his...)Ps Zhuang (for responding to my late night sms of sharing with encouragement & prayers)Gracie & Evan: for hanging out with me at Hard Rock...evan for organising this because she knew i needed it...gracie for staying over last night...Wend: For praying with me at her home...was at her house for 2-3 days just to spend time together...Cin my agogo sis: For listening on our bus ride to the wake. And for sharing her views that helped...Emy: For being physically around at divine times she knew not of...My bosses: For hearing my views and for giving me the space i need...Ps Audrey: for the time spent over coffee just now, just to listen and share....WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?It's important to be accountable & share...don't bottle everything within yourself!Share with the right people!:)Enjoying daily life and this journey again...
Starine remembered on 3:44 PM
HARD ROCK CAFE, night out with my 2 dearest galpals. Thanks for making it happen van! And thanks to you gals for your precious time!
First up. Presenting Gracie Tan's sweetheart...! Hahahaha. She's head over heels in 'love'... and by the way, obviously she snapped that shot above la.
ooooh, thanks wend, van and gracie for my 1/3 pressie...hahaha... (im claiming LV and KATE SPADE & more clothes from SKIN for the 2/3 :p) You guys are the earliest as always! :D Pretty gold, i like!
My pretty evan...
Greedy moments..
Impromptu, candid shot...:)
Basically...
Light hearted moments @ Hard Rock Cafe with my dearies! ;) It has been months since i last chilled out man!
Starine remembered on 9:09 PM
Been a tempest tossed, tempestuous.... whatever you call it... period.GOD i need a clear direction, i need an answer!
Starine remembered on 9:02 PM
So much to say! Stay tuned. :)I'm at wend's house. And it's good to be here! :) Good work place.. & in a moment's time, we are gonna pray & worship together! good soul time place!I'm counting down ............. to my dearest' return! ;(
Starine remembered on 8:18 PM
Was up since 3 a.m. cause had to go to the airport at 5 plus a.m. Wanted to go home to sleep first, but i reckon that i would not sleep well even if i do go home at this time!!! Anyways it's great being all alone in the church office, at this time... :)Yesterday evening, i had some time to be all alone at Cafe Cartel. And over free flow bread, wedges & a cuppa coffee, i listened to old worship songs & a sermon by Ps Phil. Oh talking about old worship songs, i was listening to POH leading in one of the services..it must have been year 2002? Cause at that time we still had Friday night service at JW. And i must say, i felt the touch of God. Anyways, i thought of smsing to tell POH that we miss having him lead P&W & that i hope he recovers soon! Which i did. :) And humble as he always is, he replied that he is so looking forward to worshipping together with all of us again. God bless such a great man!Anyways, my short time at Cartel waiting for EMY (thanks gal for your ever-available-ever-willing spirit of spending time with cyn!)...became a divine time of reflection.-----I realised (as i often did) that when life gets so busy & the wheels keep turning & i keep going...i often find myself having no solid time of really coming to terms with everything im doing and such times are very important to me.Basically, im reminded of why i do what i do, and i know....there must be something more, so much more.
Starine remembered on 8:35 AM
And i just feel ...
i have the best cg in the whole of chc!
best bunch of people around... :D
Thank God for you guys.
Starine remembered on 10:22 PM
the sweeties in my life!;)
thank God for these sweet dear men, my bro & my companion, kel! 
here's a continued list of thanks....
my pretty album from my pretty members! :)
HARD ROCK CAFE, night out with my 2 dearest galpals. Thanks for making it happen van! And thanks to you gals for your precious time!
ooooh, thanks wend, van and gracie for my 1/3 pressie...hahaha... (im claiming LV and KATE SPADE & more clothes from SKIN for the 2/3 :p) You guys are the earliest as always! :D Pretty gold, i like!
My pretty evan...
